Christmas Smells.... oh yes it does

Brother-in-law as angel ...........OK, not really.... if he looked this good dead, my sister might help him on his way!!!.....

The babies slept with me last night, I wanted peace they wanted warmth, hubby was away. Consequently I got up at 6am as I was jolly uncomfortable. How many arms and legs do two children have for heaven's sake?!

Coming downstairs I lit the fire and, feeling Christmassy, I made...... wait for it..... jam! I know it's not THAT Christmassy but the thing is, we had our Christmas Tesco delivery yesterday. We sledged across the lanes to retrieve it from the van driver who had managed to park up as near as possible. The same thing happened last year so we're fairy blase about this now. The new driver was most intrigued by our chilled attitude... oh I made a funny, chilled... never mind! Well, all the food turned up and when we finally got it home I started filling the freezer. However, the blackberries and peeled apple circles that I foraged in the summer and autumn were seriously getting in the way. Also I've a million empty jars cluttering up the dairy so I pulled out bags of fruit and lo and behold the new food fitted in beautifully.

Before the sproglets awoke this morning I made 13 jars of gorgeous Blackberry and Apple jam, loosely based on a recipe from The Cottage Smallholder, a font of all knowledge. My recipe probably has slightly more apple than blackberry because I took out more apple bags from the freezer. I sieved all pips out of the jam and it is really quite my best jam ever. It has a really good set, probably because of the quantity of apple.

Then, without rinsing the huge 19 litre stock pot, I made Beetroot Relish, a MUST with cold turkey. I made it with 6 packs of precooked beetroot, (what a cheat!) The vinegar smell was quite welcome, as by this time in the morning, the owner of the tree farm opposite had come with his son to remove our poo heap from outside the stables. The pong from the year-old manure was rather overpowering, still nothing like a bit of vinegar to clear the nostrils!!!

When the 6yo finally appeared from bed he had that cute bed-head look.

'Mum?' he said, holding his nose. (He can't abide weird smells.... (I fall into that category sometimes); make-up, perfume, vinegar, poo*, the auction house all offend him...)

'Yes?'

'Will Santa bring me the things I asked for, the things I wrote on the note that we burned?'

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....................

'Not sure,' I said. 'Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he brings you something even better, something you didn't even think of.'

His chin wobbled. 'If Santa brings me baby toys I will think that Santa sucks!'

Sucks! Sucks! Are we in England? Who says sucks? I don't say sucks..... often....... neither does hubby or the 8yo! AND they don't watch the Disney Channel.... that bloody Disney Channel needs cleaning up if you ask me!.... Oh, you didn't,..... well, just don't get me started! That Tracey Beaker stuff is awful too and what about that dreadful programme where kids play to get out of jail - what the heck is THAT about!!!??? .... OK, it's OK I'm breathing into a bag now....

Calm thoughts, calm thoughts............ It's a stunning day today, belting sunshine and the white white snow, we could be at a ski resort.... though rather less funds required. The children have refused to go sledging, just because I want to go down with them on my lap! No fun.

'Is it because I'm too fat?'

'No!' said the 8yo immediately. Good girl, I've trained her well - a fast positive response. Feeling better about myself already. Sod the diet in January.

'You're just very chubby.'

I'm heading Santa off at the pass..........................................

*

My brother in law is laid up at the moment: He came off his motorbike badly on the ice. I rather hope he decides not to ride again as he's the most brilliant person ever and we really rather like having him on the planet with us. The thought of him gazing down on us in a meringue dress with wings and a harp could put you off your Christmas dinner! Anyone with suggestions of how to keep him off the bike, which is sadly the most economical way to get to his central London job, will be most gratefully received. Apparently my suggestion that my sister and family move to Knightsbridge isn't actually that practical! Details, schmeetails!





*I do NOT smell of this substance....oh wait, except when barrowing from the muck heap, cleaning out the chickens and gardening... OK, maybe I do smell of poo.!

Reflections on Mothers' Day...

I didn't have Mothering Sunday this year, instead I claimed my Mothers' Day on the Saturday. It was a fantastic day.

We awoke at 7am to see the sunlight peeping through the window that I've yet to get a curtain for and by 8am we were chomping into Ludlow sausages, bacon and our own delicious eggs with crusty bakery bread. My home-made cards were fantastic. Girl had made one in the shape of a tea pot which had a tea bag stapled inside, saying 'take a break today Mummy.' It was inspired. The 5yo's teacher had helped them make cards like little fish tanks with tie-dye material that looked like water. Teacher is beautiful and aged about 12 so I can only presume her grandparents were hippies passing on their tie-dye skills.

By now the sun was high in the sky and although the temperature was a little fresh, there was no breeze so I attacked the garden while husband ferried the kids around the site in Dizzy Disco picking up all discarded trash and rotten wood which they drove to the *new bonfire.

*Worryingly, husband has started building the bonfire for Bonfire Night!! You'll be able to see our celebration from space, I fear for the fence, house, animals!

Dizzy also managed to uproot several unwanted shrubs: We lashed a tow rope around them attached the rope to Dizzy and drove off. It was very satisfying, especially as it meant I didn't have to spend hours digging them out.

The 5yo and Daddy departed for the dump, some 25 miles away while the 7yo took photos of everything and I barrowed 2 ton of rotten cow poo to my raised vegetable beds. Almost heaven except for the fact that our wheelbarrow is absolute pants; with a hard fixed wheel and small capacity I was forced to 'borrow' the tenant's barrow from the stables.....I'm not sure they're happy about this as there are rumours about cows passing worms to horses. However I always wash it out afterwards but its a bit of a pain.

When the boys returned we had lunch in the walled garden in the sun. I couldn't find my gardening gloves and husband suggested they might be in the back of Dizzy. I pulled open the tailgate to find a wonderful, huge, shiny black wheelbarrow with a bouncy wheel. Wit-ta-woooooo. I nearly cried when I had to put the first forkful of poo in it but it's well and truly christened now!

Pizza for dinner was another surprise.....kinda surprised we ever got it! We ordered from a takeaway in a little town 5 miles away and explained carefully how rural we were. 'S'okay,' said the man with the cute Turkish accent 'We got Sat Nav...' I eventually had to run a mile down our lane and guide him in with a high beam torch!! We re-heated in the oven, and I'm pleased to say we have not contracted salmonella.

All in all possibly the best day ever. Thanks family and thanks God for the nice weather.