Tea Leaves....

Hmmmmm... Lou at Larches is a teensy-weensy bit cross...

The Larches barns are filled with accumulated clutter. Some items are required and some items really need a new home or depositing at the dump.... Oh, ‘scuse me, it's not called the dump anymore is it? It's the recycling centre or, worse still, the sustainability centre!!?? .....Anyhoo back to the point of this ramble...

I was rooting about in the barns, climbing over the sproglets’ bikes, the builders' stash and the leftover rabbit entrails kindly discarded by the cats, when I came upon a particularly nice example of twentieth century design; an MFI cabinet in that delicious wood effect veneer with sliding glass doors, c. 1970. Lov-erly.

Knowing full well what the local auction house would think of my latest piece of period furniture... [...our Ikea phase has recently been disposed of in this manner and I’m fairly sure that the auctioneer did a 'smell' face when he saw it. Subsequently it took several sales before a gullible discerning bidder was found.] I decided against this route this time.

Eureka! Thought I, bearing in mind that I am now top totty authority (numero 24 y’know) on Gardening matters, according to ebuzzing The Global Platform for Social Media Advertising. Oh yeah...

I thought, I know, I shall have a retail outlet for The Larches.....

It’s an honesty cabinet and so far Wyevale Nurseries or indeed any other garden centre need not fear for their livelihood... Situated at the bottom of the bridlepath, I started out by stocking it with some rather delightful strawberry plants, then I added some pots of herbs and then some rather delectable perennials.

In the beginning the children were thrilled to note that a pot of perennials had been removed only to be replaced by a shiny 50p and having made at least £2.50 in three weeks.... wit-ta-woo, I decided to expand production into jam.... [and yes, I have had an Environmental Health visit to pass my kitchen actually... and he was mightily impressed. Smug.]

Within a week, five jars of jam had been stolen! Out-bloody-rageous!

Last week someone took two huge pots filled with flowering strawberry plants. In return they left me some Spanish coins dating from before the Euro!

Yesterday two good sized lupins, raised from seed by me, were also nicked. Sheesh...

It’s a flipping honesty table, not a free for all!

Fortunately I know some lovely army chaps and their wives have very kindly volunteered them to lie in the ditch for the foreseeable future with their gorgeous foliage hats. They will then muller the tea leaves who feel my MFI cabinet is like Tesco but without the paying bit! Marvelous what your taxes will pay for.......

It's melting, it's melting

I really think the worst is over. The sun is out and I can actually hear the thaw! Flooding next, said the bitter and twisted 44 year old!

'Happy Birthday Mummy,' said the five year old. 'You're fourteen today.' Daughter had set out a beautiful breakfast. In the centre of the table sat a tiny hand-made marzipan cake with a candle. I did enjoy my breakfast although I feel guilty confessing that all through the meal I was trying to think of a plan to avoid eating the cake. I'd overheard husband saying to daughter 'Don't let the cats lick your fingers while your making mummy's cake!' Still, if I get ill I may lose weight. There's always a silver lining.

Tesco couldn't reach the house today. We followed the delivery driver back up our drive, down our lane which is actually a bridlepath and out along the little road. We were very resourceful, pulling sledges along behind us to collect our order from the van. The child labour came in handy, bearing in mind they're still not at school.

I must have been slightly depressed when I ordered our provisions, forgetting milk was a bit daft. All the other major food groups were covered in sensible proportions; Chocolate 35% of order, Alcohol 35%, Protein, Carb, Veg and household supplies 30%.

Laura-Hen's looking a bit cold and bedraggled today. She's shivering too. I took the seven year old aside: 'She may be ill, she might die.' She looked into my eyes. 'Can we bury her?' I suggested we might wait till she was actually dead! I made a mental note not shiver or to lie still in the vicinity of daughter.