Posh Pasta Purloined....

Benny the panther

I'm reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It is fan-bloody-tastic. (Now my second favourite book after The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx.) The honesty of Wild smacks you right on the nose and while I have few tales to match such a cathartic adventure, I have decided to bear my soul today and hang the consequences: (Probably no guests to the house ever again....)

This morning, after seeing to all the outdoor creatures, trudging through the snow with feed and water, my hat pulled down against the icy wind, I was very happy to be back in my kitchen. The log burner took the edge off the sharp day and a steaming cup of coffee soon had me toasty inside.

Unusually I listened to silence, no Radio 4, no podcast in my ears. That's why I heard the cracking sound.

At first I thought the broken window [daughter's football antics last summer!] in the dairy (the walk-in larder), 'mended' by Hubby, had become 'unmended;' the plastic sheeting crackling in the gale, but no. This noise was intermittent: teeth cracking on something hard?

I rushed to find a cat.

Back at the dairy door with a sleepy Benny, I waited to see if the noise was still a feature. Two seconds later and Benny was out of my arms, pushing the dairy door ajar. He was at once transformed into a panther. I slipped into the room behind him and closed the door.

We worked as a team, he searched an area, looking at me to move a shelf, box or tin. I noticed that a brand new packet of posh pasta, purchased in France and saved for a special occasion, was now open, a hole gnawed in its shiny wrapper. This was war. I slowly pulled out each drawer of the tall, wooden apple store and Benny and I were rewarded with the sight of a long, slender tail disappearing behind a small shelf.

By emptying the shelf of foods and then slowly tipping it towards me, I created a gap. Benny leapt into the void and after a second or two of invisible scrabbling, appeared holding a fat house mouse, its head engulfed within Benny's dark mouth. Jumping to the floor Benny stood by the dairy door. My task as doorman complete, the panther exited into the kitchen proudly, disappearing with his catch through the cat-flap.

Poor mouse but hey-ho, nobody but me gets to open the posh pasta!

To those invited to stay over/to dinner etc any time soon....

1. I understand if you cancel 
2. I can promise that we're not having the remains of that pasta for dinner..... mind you, with lots of salted, boiling water..... snigger... 

So, though not as Wild as Cheryl, I feel like a slovenly housewife and that's all I'm revealing for now... 

Saved by a cat. Yay!

Another catch brought in by Benny (from outside this time) in 2010.... ughhh!

Wild - Movie 

Eau de Mouse...

L to R: Tabby and Benny.

The title of this blog is courtesy of Marie (at school.) It can either be said with a heavy, sexy french accent...or in a very suburban accent (London or New York, you choose,) 'Euuuwwww de Mouse!!'

Because.....

We have two cats, one is suave, sophisticated, James Bond-like. That's Ben. He's fit and trim. He saunters up to you and assesses you with sultry eyes. But don't be fooled, he's a killer. The other cat is big, handsome, thick! I'd liken him more to ...... erm... ermmmm .....(d'y'know what? Because I was struggling to think of a personification of Tabby, I typed Big, Handsome, Thick into google. Sooooooo wish I hadn't done THAT! I feel a bit queasy now!) Anyhoo, Tabby's a bit more like Peter Andre: He's nice'ish, not overly bright, but bad things keep happening to him!

Over breakfast yesterday, the children and I heard a squealing noise. Tabby had brought in a mouse through the cat flap. He then accidentally dropped said mouse! You could see it was an accident: If he could have spoken, he'd have said 'Sh*T!' Luckily, as it headed towards the range, he caught it. Phew-eee! we three said in unison ...... then he bloody dropped it again!

Like a scene from a really good football match, in which Beckham takes the ball and avoids all contact, then scores... little mouse weaved in and out of our legs, pursued by Tabby-the-incompetent. Finally it disappeared into the boiler cabinet! It has not been seen since! Grrrrr.

So you see, at first it was 'euuwwww a mouse!' and now, no doubt, as the creature has probably died from a heart attack, wedged in behind the lovely warm boiler,....soon it will be Eau De Mouse!

Note to Cats Protection League - this cat is on his LAST warning...

James Bond is on top....of course!