Radioactive Food... Yum!

The boy and the girl have been sickly and at home. Fortunately the illness was more soaring temperatures, lethargy and a cough rather than the gastro-thing that is doing the rounds. As of this evening, I think we are all mended. Phew!

The main baby-sitter during this period has been the telly. Normally we Archer-parents are mean with the goggle box; rationing the kids to Saturday and Sunday night TV, but during sickly times the TV is a welcome distraction.

Boy had been watching an old sci-fi film yesterday about a black hole in space and robots, c. 1960, I was in the kitchen finding stuff to tempt his appetite when he wandered in in his PJ's.

'What's gammon? he enquired.

Pleased that he might be interested in a ham dinner with potatoes, cheese sauce and broccoli, I began the Wiki-version of gammon and other lush pork cuts. Hugh Fearnley-Whittenstall, Nigel Slater and Adam Henson would all have been so proud.

At the end of my monologue he looked dazed, confused and in need of more ibuprofen.

'Why would it be radioactive then? he asked.

Ohhhhhhh..[lightbulb]........ Gamma!

Moral: We must be sure of the question, before we give the answer. My friend once frightened the bee***us out of her young triplets when they asked a vague question about babies. Turns out they were really only interested in a vague notion of the subject and didn't need the technical terms. A week later and the same mum overheard an indignant conversation between two mums at the school gates, whose children had also picked up the bio-speak a year or two early.... whoops.

Not so smug now....

I had become complacent: The children have been excellent, no real dramas on their returned incarceration at school... dare I say they're rather enjoying it! Plus I'm being very organised; preparing dinners in the morning in my trusty slow cooker or setting the timer on the oven.... Sigh, we're like the Fairy washing up liquid family... perfect.... Hmmmmmm, famous last words!

This week the 5yo announced he has his first wobbly tooth. Awww, sweetums... No! Not sweetums, it's his first wobbly tooth and he's a manchild.... he may die of pain at any moment! Funny how the pain goes away in school but gets saved up for me at home!

Meanwhile the 7yo has had a Vidal Sassoon moment; giving herself a quick hair trim while she sat waiting in the stables. (She waits there for long periods of time like a sneaky spider, cross legged until she pounces on poor defenceless horse owners, sweetly asking if she can groom, muck out, oil tack....whatever it takes in return for a ride.... Very resourceful.....

.....but back to the hair, or lack thereof: What's most galling is that her hair looks better than before! She left the length, choosing just to cut a sweet 1960's style feathered fringe ('bangs' in USA-speak...) Because it looked so good I didn't ground her forever....BUT...BUT... When I found that she had trimmed the curtains in her bedroom too I was far less pleased...

Breathing...breathing...

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We're back to Easter Egg Hunt over here! Bloody chickens have decided that the holly hedge filled with stinging nettles is a really good place to lay. Deep joy. A farming friend has suggested I impose a few days of 'lock down' to bring them back to the coop to lay. This weekend I'm going to create a compound with the electric fencing and curtail the free ranging for a while.... What a cruel mummy!

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I've just harvested loads more tomatoes and combined with my garlic and someone else's onions I've made a pasta sauce for the weekend. Lush!

It's slow cooker ham tonight - cooked with onions and muscovado sugar and spices for 8-10 hours, it's yummy with savoy cabbage and a creamy cheese sauce.... and apple crumble (our apples) and custard for pud. Feeling sleepy already!

Mind you if you really want to read about a Perfect Housewife, you'd best read this post!!! it's called 'Batman works at the Oxfam Shop....'