The Tree Surgeons

Tuesday 8th September. Four rugged men were standing on my drive beside their cherry picker when I returned home from school run. They will strip the house of it foliage and murder roots. They are professionals - they belong to the Arboricultural Association. I don't mess around.

I fed and watered the workers all day so that they wouldn't wander off. By the end of the day the house was naked, the bonfire pile in Home Field was enormous and I was out of food. I handed over a wad of cash and they left. The site was spotless. Wow.

The naked house is a green colour and there are huge cracks in the brickwork. Delightful. I think I preferred it hairy.