Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Defence Cuts Explained ..... simply...
Let us use a metaphorical story to explain some of the recent defence cuts in the UK. I know it can be complicated to the likes of us proles....
(Are you sitting comfortably? Good, now we'll begin....)
The 5yo (used as a metaphor for the defence chiefs) is discussing the Birthday present he would reeely, reeeely like:
'It's a Lego Star Wars Starship Carrier. It's massive and brilliant.'
'Lovely dear,' says Mummy Archer (a metaphor for the panicky, cost-cutting Government) 'But what is it for?'
'It's the carrier that carries all the starships on long journeys, to do battle throughout the galaxies with evil dark side baddies. Aaaaaand if the star ships get shot at, they fly back to the carrier to get mended.'
'Well,' says Mummy bending down and doing her best compromise face. 'Tell you what; I'd rather you didn't have either but because I'm a very fair Mummy, ll let you have the carrier but not the starships. They're just too expensive and you'll only break them with all that battling!.....'
The 5yo looks quizzically at the Mummy who clearly doesn't 'get' warfare because she's a girl and only boys reeeeeely 'get' war stuff....
'But that's no good, because the starships are the things that actually do the battles, the carrier just gets them there....'
'La,la,la not listening...' says Mummy.
Good, glad I've cleared that up...next subject please?