Thursday 17 February 2011

In my Last Will and Testimony.....

The 6yo was a bit stroppy last afternoon. He was post-play-date tired.

'Can I watch TV?'

'Absolutely,' said I. He nearly fainted, so rarely do I utter that sentence at 4pm.

'Really?' He said, sensing there might be a catch. There wasn't one.

Heady with triumph, he realised he must have settled short. Making amends he quickly upped his demands.......
'I'll turn it on and choose my own programme if you show me how to use the remote.'

Yeah, dream on! Long ago I lost the remote to the hubby, I'm not keen to relinquish the last bastion of power in my own home. The remote must be defended.....Oh, hark at me, I've come over all ferocious, a reincarnation of Boodica perhaps, maybe it's the proximity to Wales. Anyhoo, the sproglets cannot triumph .... even though I know that day is coming but for now I'm living in the moment.....

'That's OK lovely boy, I'll manage,' said I.

He pouted and threw himself onto the sofa.

'That's so unfair. What happens if you and dad died? We wouldn't even know how to use the TV!'



  1. Hilarious. At least he has his priorities in order!

  2. One must plan ahead. I applaud his pragmatism, a little brutal perhaps, still it makes stories for you to tell the grandsproglets.

  3. So funny, LOL.
    Last night making brownies with the chick, I said to her, 'pay attention, what if I died? You wouldn't know how to make these brownies'.
    They are family favs, so she paid attention.

  4. awesomeness. and picturing a triumphant rebel queen in her chariot, sproglets at her side, remote in her hand ... priceless.

  5. Bad bad mother - not properly preparing your offspring for life!

    Impressed you've made it this far actually - I am never allowed the remote. It gets ripped from my clawlike as soon as I scoop it up. Apparently I am not quick enough or clever enough to be trusted with it being such a backward old woman. And damn whoever said children should learn to read as we have the sort of telly with visual listings, so when I say The Simpsons is not on - I am forever being stabbed in the back by bloody technology.

    So have given up entirely and mostly stay out of the way when horrible noise is on. I know when I am defeated.

  6. Lou, look at me... now listen. Do. Not. Hand. Over. That. Remote. OK? Got it? Hide it, keep in in your bra, do whatever you have to do otherwise in the future your life will be bligthed by The Simpsons, Family Guy, Top Gear and Skins, with a bit of Hollyoaks on the side. Downton Abbey will be pooh poohed off the small screen in favour of a re-run of Hellfighting Bitch in Tiny Leather Shorts or some other such dross. Don't say I didn't try to warn you!

  7. 'Cross the Pond: I'm hiding anything that can be used as a weapon in case he 'takes me out; just to get to the remote!

    James: I just don't really want to live in the real world, do I?

    Mother Hen: Oh god! You mean she has that treasured family recipe now? I suggest you sleep with one eye open..... we're rendering ourselves redundant.... coo, that sounds pretty good actually.

    Jg. for FatScribe: Rather imagine myself as the central character in 'Liberty leading the People' by Eugène Delacroix. I'd be holding the remote, of course, not a silly flag AND I'd be wearing a vest. France is not THAT warm!

    MadameSmokinGun: Visual listings??!!! What the.... we're still on ceefax over here and that really slow tennis game....... Actually, really fed up now the 6yo can read ANYTHING, I have been exposed as a big fat liar. When accused, I make them watch Blue Peter. I love Blue Peter.... I've got a badge.

    Wylye Girl: OK mum, will stuff it in bra. Tempting actually as it's bloody freezing here today. Have thought that I might re-invent bras with pockets or an extra boulder-holder as I'm always stuffing my phone or ipod in there when gardening. Might catch on, what d'ya think?


The Archers at The Larches

Lou - Chicken whisperer....

Lou - Chicken whisperer....

Snowy and Moon

Snowy and Moon