Wednesday 16 June 2010

Never Clean Your Car!

Invited to lunch recently, by a lovely girl friend, I heard a funny story. Well, it's funny depending on who you are really. My pal has given me full permission to repeat the tale.....

My friends are having some building work undertaken. All day, builders arrive with vans and lorries to disrupt their life. Their house is beautiful, and will be more so, after the builders leave. They are fortunate to have one particularly delightful builder, and he seems to be driving the project along at speed.

As a distraction from the renovation, my pal got out in her garden with a tray of sunflowers to plant. Close to her outside wall, she noticed a jar. Assuming that some passing yob had lobbed said jar into her garden, she went to recover it.

It was someones ashes! The name was right there on the casket! It was the ashes of a dead lady!

How dreadful. My pal confessed to feeling a bit bored that day. This was a bit of excitement! She phoned the council and asked them to immediately come to collect the body/ashes.

'When the man came to the door, I did ham it up a tadge!' she confessed. 'I told him I was utterly traumatised.'

The man from the council put on his most serious face. He took the ashes with reverence and promised to investigate.

Later, having tracked down the family, he drove to the next of kin. The daughter of the deceased opened the door. She was understandably upset.

Unfortunately the daughter of the deceased is married to my friend's favourite builder. ....... He'd been cleaning out his van on my friend's drive, and had forgotten to put his mother-in-law away..... Whoops, such an easy mistake to make, surely?

I understand that building work may slow considerably in the foreseeable future.


  1. What a great story! Can you imagine the atmosphere in the builder's home now?

  2. And I thought I was absent minded!

  3. oh! em! gee! that's atrocious yet so funny!! seems like it belongs in a comedy film, LOL!

  4. It's so wrong that I just giggled, isn't it? I know it is. Yet...heee! I mean, at least that lady had a last relaxing moment in a sunny garden, no? Plus imagine if she'd been ALIVE and fallen off a truck? Heavens!

    I'm not sure what I'm saying here.

  5. Oh dear! It is wrong that I laughed?

  6. I know I shouldn't laugh brought back memories of a similar'situation' in my life. My boyfriend of the time had lost his father in a farming accident. We were all devastated. The funeral and cremation took place but as he'd left no will, there were no last wishes for his ashes and much family dispute about 'what he would have wanted'. So he stayed in car under the passenger seat, not even in an urn, but a cardboard box. We all kind of forgot he was there as the debate raged on about what to do with him. The car was then sold at auction and everyone else assumed that the other had taken him out. But they hadn't. He was eventually tracked down about 40 miles away, still safely stashed under the seat. The new owners were a bit shocked to say the least. Love your blog. Found you through your comment on 'The Lehners in France' and will add you to my blogroll. (Sorry it's such a long first comment!)

  7. Oh God how awful! So embarrassing poor her poor builder - bet he got an earful that night!

  8. Victoria: Decidedly icy I should imagine!

    James: We should thank the builder, he's made the rest of us look good!

    Technodoll: Comedy of errors for sure!

    The Vegetable Assassin: Exactly, she could have rested with my friend's sunflowers.

    Kat: Cheaper than a burial!

    'Cross the Pond: How can it be wrong when it feels soooo right?

    Previously (Very) Lost in France: Excellent story! So glad I found your blog. You are fab.

    Tattie Weasle: Not sure my friend's kitchen will be built for Christmas now ... (or for Christmas 2020!!)

  9. This reminds me of one of my favorite films Lou! The "Big Lebowski" you must see it if you have not already.

    The scene when they discard of Donny's ashes on the seashore hilarious!
    How does your garden grow by the way?

  10. natural selection: I've just googled 'Donny's Ashes' and watched the clip. Very funny, glad my friend didn't open the casket!

    Due to scorching days and the occassional monsoon my garden now resembles a jungle. Will do update post soon. How's your farm?


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